BiggerBetterFaster

What's up with plain old base reality? We don't like what we get? Well, we'll just bend it, twist it, shove it, and presto-changeo - something new and improved will pop up.

Satisfied with the Civic? Hell no! Let's make us some SUV's - Why settle for a puddle hopper when we can jump the whole damn lake? What? You say the lake is now filled with oil? Well, Duuuuh! Presto-changeo - The Escalade!

Like the good ole taco? Up yours buddy. I want a double meat thrice wrapped Ersatz Mexican Thingie, super biggie it please, with a longer belt on the side. Presto-changeo - The Nacho Gordita Supreme.

And now for something completely different. The Russians were on to something back in the '70's. Tape some weird sensors on your head, take a nap, and wake up knowing new and improved things. Wanna know about nuclear physics, or nail down the complete Mayan Calendar? No problem. By tomorrow morning you can be the expert.

And of course somebody was bound to improve on the good-old-fashioned wet dream. Now we have sleepsex!

But why stop there? Surely there are other sleep-x potentials out there. How about:

Sleepbirth - If you can have sleepsex, surely there will be a little sleepconception going on. And all those sleepzygotes will eventually want their own Escalades and Gorditas and demand the full rights inherent in being birthed. "Well uh, I dunno, I had a little sleepsex, woke up, and now there's this little kid here. Musta been a long nap. He's already outa diapers."

Sleepwork - Why wake up and go to work when most of us are asleep there anyway? Getting your work done while you sleep must have some kind of advantage. "Hey, how ya doin'?" "Oh, good I guess, just a little tired. I worked a double while I was sleeping. But the money will be good come payday. I think I'll take a little ride in my Escalade and get a Gordita. Wanna go wit me?"

Sleepwar - This is one of those times you probably don't want to share your mattress with someone else. Hey, a little sleepsex or sleepbirth is fine, but a full-blown blitzkrieg while you nakedly nap, well, what a turn-off. Enough of us go to bed with a .38 Colt under the pillow anyway, so who's to mind a few M16's or SAW weapons? Oh, and please get yourself a new and improved pillow holster.

Can sleeparchitecture, or sleepuniversity, or sleeplandscaping be far behind?

I'm gonna go nap now. Hey, anything could happen!