Chinatown

While on a business trip to New York City I took my evening meal in that frantic hive of humanity, Chinatown. Because MSG gives me a livid headache I asked my waiter to have my order made without benefit of that dubious substance. He looked at me and, indignantly, with a heavy accent said: "Yes Sir! Food has no ingredients!" I wondered if this was a generic statement or if he was referring to his food only. I thought that I might not want to go that far so I queried him just to be sure: "No ingredients? At all?" With great dignity he responded: "I give my pleasure to you - so, no ingredients, no ingredients. Yes?" Belatedly I realized that this might be a good way to lose weight - The No Ingredients Diet. No wonder Atkins offed himself. (He just made it look like an accident - but I know better.) So, with great bravery, I ordered. The food arrived, mountainously, but with no MSG - it was actually quite good. My waiter came by the table in mid-meal and asked "Is everything pleasure to you?" I almost told him the truth but managed instead to blurt "Very good, very good. And thank you for no ingredients." His smile told me that I had given my pleasure to him. I can, however, tell you that the drinks served in that establishment were chocked full of ingredients - presumably not those subtracted from the food.